READ THIS: A Letter Addressed To Praye Tia tia
Dear Praye Tiatia,
How are you?
Sorry. Stupid question. You must be hurting. And we understand. You are a tough guy. You are a guy who has fought a long battle with the comb and even though you have not won, you have prevailed. You are a guy who is so confident that you celebrate your painful lack of inches in your stage moniker. It was not the smartest of moves but it was brave and you did it.
To recap, we know you are a tough guy. But even you must be hurting. So first of all, we do hope that you have gotten a hug. And nice, long, wordless hug. You need it, Tiatia. You might think, tough guy style, that you don’t but you do. That and a large helping of whatever stimulants keep you going.
Look, there are some who will say you brought this on yourself. They will look at this lady and say, look how much like Afia Schwartznegger she looks. And we all remember Afia’s issues with loyalty. Ask Delay if you don’t. Those people will also say a man who leaves his wife and children for the first floozy who shows him a bit of leg deserves it whatever she serves him.
Those people will be saying, this must be a good day for the people you wronged. Those people that you have done wrong to must be celebrating, these people will chortle. As if it was your fault. You did what you had to do. Man must keep moving forward and that means sometimes having to get rid of some people in your life. Praye Tintin had to go and even if he may be lauging at you today, you’re in the band and he is not. Ignore him. And the people who bring him up.
We are not those people. After all, even those people could not have TV like the last bit of Indian Hemp at a ghetto party. We say this not to remind you of your pain, Tiatia. We say this to defend you. We say this because we know a bit about how alluring ladies like yours can be. And we say this because, well, we like you. Who couldn’t?
But, Tiatia, while we would love to help, we find that watching your lady give another man a veneral disease on TV is somethiing that even our otherwise extensive research has not prepared us for. Indeed, it could be something of a first across the globe! In history! Call us optimists, but we see this glass as bearing something of a record to cling on to, rather being nearly full of abject humiliation.
So what to do, you must be wondering.
First, don’t yield to the temptation to go on a poontang spree. Remember, you might be carrying something. The last thing we’d want is for some girl to go public with claims that she picked up something from you. You have suffered enough. What you should be doing, is getting some treatment.
We’d also step away from the keypad if we were you. We hear you have been lashing out on facebook and frankly, we think that is beneath you. What do those people on facebook know about girls whose touch electrifies; who can do things they will never experience; who make a man can elicit loyalty they have no intention of requiting. In fact, take a break from social media for a while. For a long while. Actually, don’t even listen to the news or read the papers for a while. Its not going to be pleasant.
Remember, all this shall pass. You will be fine. You may even have another hit record. Maybe, even about this sad chapter.
So stay quiet, stay strong, stay away from girls that look like Afia Schwartznegger.
With love and support,
Kwame and the guys at pulsemagonline.com
P.S: Don’t forget to get tested.